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He frowned. Why was he thinking about her? He told himself that there were a number of available maedels here in Lancaster County. Some had already introduced themselves to him and Lizzie. They’d brought casseroles just as the maedels had done back in Indiana. Surely there was another maedel who would catch his eye, spark his interest.

  Schur, he’d felt such an attraction to Rebecca with her warm brown eyes and sweet smile, her slender, graceful figure.

  But nee, he wouldn’t think about her.

  He felt so mixed up inside. He’d had such a strong attraction to Rebecca, but with her being a midwife, she just brought up how he’d lost his beloved Ruth, and he wasn’t sure if he could ever get past that.

  He needed to move forward—really move forward.

  But he couldn’t stop thinking about Rebecca Zook.

  Chapter Two

  Rebecca was almost late for church.

  As she’d raced around doing chores, she’d broken a bootlace feeding the chickens and had to find another, then discovered she needed to change her dress because she spilled coffee on it.

  She was lucky that her house was so close to the Stoltzfus home where the service was being held.

  “You made it!” Annie exclaimed as she moved over on the wooden bench. “You’ll have to tell me all about it after church.”

  Rebecca sank down onto the hard bench a few rows from the back of the room. Her mudder glanced back to where she sat and nodded her approval that Rebecca had made it. She and Rebecca’s schweschder, Katie Ann, sat at the front of the room. Rebecca’s bruders sat on the other side of the room with the men.

  Rebecca relaxed and enjoyed sitting down for the first time in six hours. “Nudge me if I start to drift off,” she whispered to Annie.

  “I will.”

  She’d barely had a chance to settle when she began feeling a prickling sensation on the back of her neck. Someone was staring at her. She glanced over and saw Samuel looking at her. When he realized she’d caught him staring, he frowned and looked away. Rebecca sighed. She just didn’t understand the man.

  Determinedly she focused on Elmer, the lay minister. He hadn’t been a minister for long and had a wonderful enthusiasm, but her sleepless night was catching up with her. Annie elbowed her twice as she started to fall asleep. Rebecca was grateful when the congregation stood for a hymn. She hoped she hid her yawn, but when she gave Samuel a furtive glance, she saw him grin at her.

  Now it was her turn to frown and look away and lift her voice in song. If only she could banish the last of the cobwebs of exhaustion from her mind. When the service ended, she felt relief. At least she didn’t have to worry now that she’d nod off and be embarrassed.

  “Coffee,” Annie said firmly. “Stay here and I’ll get some for both of us.”

  “I won’t argue.”

  “Rebecca! Guder mariye! Someone wants to say hello.”

  She turned to see Lovina carrying her new boppli. “I didn’t see you come in.”

  “I sat in the back in case Johnny fussed. But he slept through most of the service.”

  Rebecca’s heart melted at the sight of the infant blinking owlishly up at them.

  Lizzie bounced up to them, clutching her doll. “Lovina, can I see the boppli?”

  “May I?” her dat corrected as he came to stand behind her.

  “Can Daedi see it, too?” she responded with a big grin.

  “Lizzie!” he chided her.

  She giggled. “May I?”

  Lovina sat down on the bench so Lizzie could get a better look.

  “Daedi, he’s so little!” Lizzie breathed.

  He chuckled. “Bopplin are.”

  “Was I that little?”

  “You schur were.” He smiled at her.

  Rebecca watched Samuel’s smile fade and become sad as he watched his dochder admire the boppli and chatter with Lovina.

  Annie returned with a cup of coffee for her. “Maybe this will help you stay awake.” She set the cup down beside Rebecca and smiled as she held out a plate with a slice of bread with church spread of peanut butter and marshmallow creme. “And a little snack to tide you over.”

  “Danki.”

  “I’m going to help wash some dishes,” Annie told her.

  “I should, too.”

  “You’re exhausted. Sit, eat, drink your coffee.” Annie hurried off.

  “Another late night?” Samuel asked her when she covered a yawn with her hand.

  She nodded. “Lillian and Isaac King are the proud eldres of a sohn. Seven pounds, seven ounces. I almost missed church.”

  “So that’s why you were having such trouble staying awake.”

  Horrified, she stared at him. “Oh, I hope no one else noticed!”

  “I don’t think so.” He stepped closer and lowered his voice. “I haven’t been here long but it does seem like Elmer loves parables.”

  “He always did love a gut story—a gut, long story. I attended schul with him.” She struggled to hide a yawn again.

  “Let’s hope you can get some sleep before another boppli needs your help coming into the world.”

  David walked up and said hello to Rebecca and Samuel before turning to his fraa. “Lovina, I’m going to get the buggy.”

  “Gut. I’ll meet you out front.”

  Rebecca held out her arms. “I can hold him while you go get your jacket.”

  “Danki.” Lovina stood and transferred the boppli into Rebecca’s arms. “Be right back.”

  “That coffee looks gut,” Samuel said abruptly. “Lizzie, come with me and we’ll get you a snack.”

  “I’m not hungerich. May I stay here with Rebecca and Johnny?”

  “She’ll be fine here with us,” Rebecca told him.

  “Allrecht. Shall I get you more coffee?”

  “Nee, danki. I’m fine. If I have too much, I won’t be able to sleep when I get home.”

  Rebecca watched him walk away. Almost immediately he was approached by Sarah Fisher, who flirted shamelessly as she chatted with him. Rebecca wasn’t surprised. Samuel was handsome and single and he owned a nice-sized farm.

  Well, it didn’t matter what Sarah or any of the other maedels did. She wasn’t interested in Samuel. Well, she might have been, but he’d made it clear he was no longer interested in her.

  “Rebecca? May I have some of your bread?” Lizzie asked.

  “Schur. But I thought you weren’t hungerich.”

  Lizzie picked up the slice of bread, tore it into two pieces, and set one on the plate. “I wasn’t then. I am now.” Her eyes sparkled with mischief. “I just wanted to stay here with you and the boppli,” she admitted as she swiped her finger across the top of the bread and licked the peanut butter and marshmallow from it.

  Johnny began fussing. Rebecca swayed gently back and forth, and he quieted. “Your mudder will be right back, dear one,” she said quietly. “Soon you’ll be back home and she’ll feed you and you’ll take a nice nap. Won’t that be nice, Johnny?”

  “Bopplin sleep a lot,” Lizzie told her.

  “They do.”

  “I’m a big girl. I don’t like naps.”

  “Really? I’m a big girl and I’m going to take a nice, long nap when I get home today.”

  She glanced up and saw Sarah Fisher pouring Samuel a cup of coffee and flirting outrageously with him.

  Then she noticed that Samuel wasn’t paying attention to Sarah. He was staring at her.

  Lovina returned. “I’m all ready to go,” she said, buttoning up her jacket and carrying her purse and diaper bag.

  Lizzie’s face fell. “You have to go?”

  “They need to get home and rest.” Rebecca handed Johnny to Lovina.

  “Bye, Johnny,” Lizzie said, waving at the boppli. “Bye, Lovina,” she added almost as an afterthought.

  Rebecca realized that Samuel had returned and wondered how long he’d been standing there.

  “Lizzie, it’s time for us to go.”

  She stood. “Daedi? When can we have a
boppli?”

  “What?” He stared at her. “A boppli?”

  “Ya. When can we have one?”

  He reddened as he cast about for an answer. “We’ll talk about that later, Lizzie. We have to go home now.”

  She turned to Rebecca. “He always says we’ll talk about it later but then we never do.”

  “Lizzie!” Her name came out as a strangled sound. “Now.”

  She marched off, shoulders slumped, head down.

  “Where do they come up with these questions?” he muttered.

  She chuckled, and he turned an accusing glance at her. “I’m sorry. You can’t blame her. It’s easy for a little girl to think a boppli is a precious little doll to hold and love. When she gets a bit older, she’ll realize they’re a lot of work. And that it takes a mudder and a dat to have one.” She felt a blush stealing over her cheeks.

  “I can see I’m going to be answering some tough questions about why we can’t have a boppli,” he said with a sigh. He straightened. “Well, that’s not your problem.”

  She gave him a sober look. “I wish you well, Samuel Miller.”

  “You’re enjoying this.”

  “Nee,” she said. Though she had to press her fingers against her lips to keep the chuckle inside.

  He frowned at her, but as he turned she saw he was trying to hide his grin.

  * * *

  Samuel found himself thinking about Rebecca again as he drove from church.

  Something had stirred in him as he watched her holding Lovina’s boppli. She’d cradled him so lovingly in her arms it looked as if the kind was her own. There had been such a sweetness in her expression, such an innate warmth when the boppli stirred and made some small sound. She rocked gently from side to side and murmured and the boppli settled. Samuel had never believed people when they said a new boppli smiled, but he’d have sworn this one did.

  What was it about her that made it difficult to tear his gaze away? He’d already decided it might be best for him to fight his attraction to Rebecca and look in another direction for a fraa. Sarah Fisher had flirted with him as she poured him coffee and yet he’d found himself looking past her to stare at Rebecca.

  But it would never work. How could he bear being with Rebecca and hearing about her work when he’d lost his fraa? Wouldn’t this just bring up painful memories for him when she shared how her day had gone?

  “Can we talk now, Daedi?” Lizzie asked, pulling him away from his thoughts.

  “Schur,” he said, bracing himself for the question he knew was coming.

  “Can we have a boppli?”

  “Why do you want one, kind?”

  “Linda Mae has one. Naomi’s mudder even had zwillingbopplin.”

  “Lizzie, I need to have a fraa to have a boppli.”

  “Then get us one.”

  He chuckled and glanced at her in the back seat. “Just like that?”

  She nodded vigorously.

  “It’s not that easy.” He searched for the right words. “It’s important to find the right woman.”

  “I like Rebecca. She’s nice.”

  Samuel blinked. He hadn’t been expecting that. “You think Rebecca is nice?”

  “Ya. And she knows all about bopplin.”

  “Did Rebecca say anything to you?”

  “She said bopplin like to take naps.”

  Relieved that Rebecca hadn’t been discussing him, he nodded. “They do. Unlike some little girls we know.”

  She giggled. “So find a fraa, Daedi.”

  Samuel rolled his eyes. When Lizzie wanted something, she was relentless.

  “I’ll think about it.”

  Lizzie uttered a huge sigh. “That means no.”

  “Nee, that means I’ll think about it.”

  Minutes passed and she was silent. He glanced back. Lizzie was sound asleep. It never failed that she nodded off whenever they took a ride in the buggy.

  Samuel couldn’t help feeling relieved. There was no telling what his inquisitive dochder might have come up with.

  He wanted more kinner. It would be nice to have a sohn, although he wasn’t so old-fashioned that he wouldn’t pass the farm to his dochder one day if he didn’t have one. Lizzie had mentioned a friend had zwillingbopplin in the family. Talk about a double blessing…although he knew they were a lot of work.

  Sarah Fisher had acted like she was interested in him and hinted she’d be interested in going for a drive. He’d been about to ask her out, when his attention had been caught by Rebecca sitting across the room with the boppli in her arms. Lizzie sat beside her, chatting a mile a minute the way she always did—when she wasn’t taking bites of the slice of bread she’d gotten from somewhere.

  Rebecca looked so easy and natural caring for the boppli and listening to Lizzie even though her face was pale with fatigue.

  He’d been embarrassed when he realized Sarah had stopped talking. He’d squirmed a little when she glanced in the direction he was looking and frowned.

  “Sorry, just checking on Lizzie,” he’d rushed to say as he made eye contact with Sarah. It was a lie, but he hoped he’d be forgiven for it. He didn’t want to hurt Sarah’s feelings. Her smile returned when he made plans with her to go for a drive the next day.

  Lizzie woke when he pulled into their drive. He parked, got out, then reached in and lifted her in his arms.

  “I told Rebecca I’m a big girl and don’t like naps,” she said, blinking up at him sleepily. “Naps are for bopplin.”

  “Oh?” He’d been hoping for some quiet time so he could sit down and pay his bills.

  “She said she liked naps,” Lizzie said solemnly. “She told me she was going home to take a nap. She was up last night helping Lillian have her boppli.”

  “I know.” He carried her into the house and set her in a chair.

  “I like Rebecca, Daedi.”

  “That’s nice,” he said because he couldn’t think of what else to say. He pulled a coloring book and a box of crayons from a kitchen drawer and set them before her on the table. “I’m going to go take care of Tom and then we’ll have some lunch.”

  “’Kay.”

  He made quick work of unhitching the horse and getting him settled in the barn. He could trust Lizzie not to get into mischief most of the time, but there’d been that time she’d tried to fix a sandwich herself. He still found bits of dried peanut butter on a kitchen chair when he cleaned.

  When he returned to the house, he found her drawing on the kitchen table.

  “Lizzie! We talked about this!”

  She jumped and dropped the crayon.

  “You’re supposed to color on the paper, not the table or the walls!”

  “I didn’t color the walls!”

  “But you colored on the table! That’s a no-no! Lizzie, you know better.”

  Frustrated, he grabbed a cloth and rubbed at the crayon marks. When the wax smeared, he muttered under his breath. The table had been his gift to Ruth when they moved into their house in Indiana after they married.

  Lizzie burst into tears and took off running up the stairs to her room.

  Samuel threw down the cloth and started after her. “Lizzie, come back! I didn’t mean to yell.”

  She was a little thing with short legs but she managed to get to her room and throw herself on the bed before he got there. He sat beside her and patted her back. “Come on; we’ll have some lunch and then find a way to get the crayon off the table.”

  Sniffling, she sat up and threw her arms around him. “I’m sorry, Daedi.”

  “I know. Just promise me you won’t do it again.”

  “I won’t.”

  He carried her back down to the kitchen and made them sandwiches—all the while thinking he wasn’t doing a very gut job being both dat and mudder to his kind.

  He decided to call his neighbor, Waneta, after their meal to ask if she could babysit Lizzie while he took Sarah for a ride tomorrow. He’d try going out with Sarah and see what happened.

>   Chapter Three

  Rebecca was standing in her front yard getting her mail when she saw Samuel drive by with Sarah Fisher in his buggy.

  Samuel glanced over as he passed her and their gazes locked. Then the buggy rolled on down the road.

  She clutched the mail in one hand and watched until they went out of view. There was a brief, unexpected shaft of pain in her heart. Well, she’d seen Sarah flirting with him at church the day before. Why was she surprised? Still, it stung. After all, it wasn’t her fault his wife had died in childbirth. She hadn’t been the midwife attending her.

  With a sigh, she walked back to the house and went inside.

  “Anything interesting?” her mudder asked.

  Miriam had stopped by to visit and work on a Christmas gift away from her own house. Rebecca didn’t want to think about the fact that it was something she should start thinking about. Gifts were handmade in the community and they took time…

  Rebecca flipped through the mail. “Bills and more bills.”

  She sat and opened a circle letter from some friends who were midwives. Each wrote a note at the bottom of a letter and then sent it on to the next person in the group. It was a nice way to learn what was going on in the field around the country. She glanced up when her mudder set a cup of tea in front of her. “Danki.”

  One midwife in Indiana reported that she’d attended the birth of zwillingbopplin, her first in her career. Another in Indiana wrote that she had helped deliver five bopplin in one week—a new record for her. And one from Missouri said she was retiring and her grown dochder was taking over for her.

  When she finished reading, Rebecca set aside the letter to make her own entry later.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Hmm?” She looked up at her mudder.

  “You sighed.”

  Rebecca shrugged. “Nothing. I’m tired, I guess.”

  “You delivered three bopplin last week.”

  “One midwife in Indiana delivered five.”

  “She must be worn out.”

  “Ya.”

  “What’s really bothering you? You’re being quiet.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “I heard Sarah Fisher was flirting with Samuel at church.”

  Rebecca smiled. “Gossiping?”