The Amish Midwife's Hope Read online

  Emotion swamped her.

  “Rebecca? You allrecht?”

  “Hmm?” She stared at Samuel.

  “You’re not eating.”

  “I’m fine.” She began filling her plate and looked up in surprise when he touched her hand.

  “I’m sorry. I should have called. I was so busy I didn’t think.”

  She nodded, not able to speak, and kept her eyes downcast as she started eating.

  Lizzie didn’t seem to notice their tension. “The lady’s car went off the road!”

  “Don’t talk with your mouth full, Lizzie.”

  She chewed and swallowed. “Daedi made me promise to stay in the buggy when he got out. I had to cover my ears with my hands when the ambulance came. It was so loud. I watched the fireman put her on a roly thing and put her inside. One of them waved at me. Then the ambulance zoomed off and I had to cover my ears again.”

  “Sounds like you had quite an exciting time,” Rebecca said.

  She nodded, her eyes bright. “Daedi, may I have more macaroni and cheese? It’s very gut,” she told Rebecca. “The spinach was allrecht, too.”

  She laughed. “It was allrecht?”

  “Ya. I ate it all, see?”

  “I see. Go ahead—have more macaroni and cheese. I made enough for you to take some home if you want.”

  Lizzie nodded. “I do. Danki,” she said politely without any urging from her dat. She sighed. “Or we could come tomorrow night. We could eat here every night.”

  Rebecca’s gaze flew to Samuel. What was she supposed to say to that?

  * * *

  Samuel winced. Things had been going so well. Lizzie had been on her best behavior and now this.

  “Lizzie,” he said in a warning tone.

  “But I like it here.”

  “It was very nice of Rebecca to invite us to supper,” he began. “But we can’t come here every night.”

  “But—”

  “Lizzie,” he repeated sternly.

  She bent her head and stared at her plate. He saw her bottom lip tremble but didn’t know what to say. He looked at Rebecca and mouthed, Sorry.

  He saw sympathy and understanding in her eyes. “I made an apple pie. I have ice cream if you’d like it.”

  “Apple pie a la mode would be wunderbaar,” he said with a smile, reminding her of their supper in town.

  He saw Lizzie stir. Ice cream was a favorite.

  Rebecca got up, cut two slices, and topped them with scoops of ice cream.

  “Lizzie, what would you like for dessert? Pie and ice cream or a cookie?”

  “Daedi’s having a mode. What’s mode?”

  Rebecca chuckled. “It’s a fancy way to say ice cream.”

  Her head popped up and she gave Rebecca a sunny smile. “Pie a mode. Please.”

  Samuel breathed a sigh of relief. Back to normal. He took another bite of pie and watched as Rebecca served Lizzie, then took a seat and began eating her own dessert.

  “The pie is very gut.”

  “Danki. I’ll send some of it home with you.”

  Lizzie polished off her pie quickly and turned to Rebecca. “Could I go look at the books in the waiting room?”

  “Of course.”

  She got up from the table and carried her plate carefully to put it in the sink. Then she scampered from the room.

  “I’m sorry if she made you feel uncomfortable.”

  Rebecca bit her lip, then looked at him directly. “Did Lizzie do this with other women in Indiana?”

  “Nee.”

  “It’s very flattering that she likes me, Samuel. But if we should stop seeing each other, how would she feel?”

  He felt a flare of panic. “Why would we do that?”

  “There are things we need to talk about,” she said somberly.

  “Like what?”

  She cast an uneasy glance toward her office. “This isn’t a gut time.”

  “Allrecht. When?”

  “Maybe tomorrow, after Lizzie goes to schul?”

  “That sounds serious.”

  “I—” she began but stopped as Lizzie bounced back into the room.

  “Rebecca, may I borrow this book?”

  “Schur.”

  She placed it on the table beside Samuel’s plate and returned to the office.

  He traced a finger over the cover. “I haven’t bought her any books in a long time. I guess this is a hint she wants some new ones.” He looked in Lizzie’s direction. “She’s outgrowing her dresses, too. That’s not something that’ll be as easy to take care of. Hannah sewed her a new one recently, but she really needs more. I’d ask Hannah, but she’s so busy with her own family and she’ll be having the boppli soon.”

  “Christmas is coming up. I could sew her a new one.”

  “That would be nice. But you don’t have to. I know you’re so busy with your work.”

  “It’ll be fun. I like to sew.”

  They sat there, silent, but he felt they were thinking the same thing. Sewing was a task that an Amish woman did for her family. A mudder sewed for her kinner. A fraa sewed for her mann.

  “What’s her favorite color?”

  “Blue. Every shade of blue.”

  “Then I’ll sew her a blue dress. I’ll look at fabric next time I go into town. I need to do a little Christmas shopping anyway.”

  He nodded. The room was so quiet he could hear the ticking of the clock on the wall. “I don’t blame Lizzie for wanting to come here again tomorrow,” he found himself saying. “It’s nice to be here with you, Rebecca.”

  He reached for her hand and she let him take it, hold it in his. Hers felt so soft and small in his large, callused one. So right. He wanted to press her about what she wanted to talk to him about. But she must have sensed it, because she withdrew her hand and stood. She began clearing the table, so he stood and helped carry the dishes to the sink. They fell into an easy rhythm with her washing and him drying.

  Samuel told himself not to think about how natural it felt, how it made him remember doing this with Ruth before they’d had Lizzie. After she’d been born, one of them would wash the dishes and the other would bathe Lizzie. He’d make a last check of the animals in the barn. And then after they’d read Lizzie a bedtime story and when she’d gone to sleep, they’d share a last cup of coffee or tea and talk, just the two of them, before they climbed the stairs to their room.

  He put the last dish in the cupboard and closed it, then folded the dishcloth and set it on the counter. He turned to Rebecca. “I guess I should be getting Lizzie home and to bed,” he said. “Danki for having us over.”

  She nodded. “I enjoyed having you both.”

  He touched her cheek and stared at her. Something moved in him, yearned in him. “Rebecca—”

  She squeezed his hand, then removed it from her cheek. “Tomorrow, Samuel. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

  Samuel called Lizzie and helped her into her jacket; then he donned his own. She skipped over and picked up the book she’d asked to borrow and tucked it under her arm.

  “Danki for supper,” she said to Rebecca, again without urging. Then she turned to him. “Daedi, can Rebecca come to our haus for supper tomorrow?”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Rebecca helped Elizabeth down from the exam table. “Any day now.”

  “I can’t wait,” Elizabeth told her. “This pregnancy seems like it’s lasted longer than an elephant’s. And I’ve been having low back pain for days.”

  Rebecca frowned. Low back pain could be a sign of impending labor. She glanced at Elizabeth’s chart. “We figured your due date for a week from today. I’d say you’re going to be right on schedule like usual.”

  Elizabeth suddenly gasped. “Oh no! Oh, Rebecca, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to pee on your floor!”

  Rebecca looked down at the puddle forming at Elizabeth’s feet and grinned. “It might be today after all. Elizabeth, your water just broke.”

  Elizabeth stared at her, uncomprehendi
ng. “It did?” Then she laughed and shook her head. “It did.”

  Rebecca opened a cabinet, pulled out towels, and tossed them down on the floor. “Time to get that boppli delivered. Go on into the bathroom and dry off. I’ll tell the other mudders we’re rescheduling, and we’ll get you home.”

  “I don’t want to inconvenience them—” Elizabeth began but then she winced. “Oh my, I think I’m having a contraction.”

  “I think you’ve been having back labor and you’re going to have that boppli soon,” Rebecca said with a chuckle. “Do you need help?”

  “Nee. I can manage.” She started off to the bathroom.

  Rebecca watched her progress. Elizabeth had that distinctive loose gait—almost a waddle—that told her Elizabeth’s pelvic bones had softened the way nature intended to make the delivery possible. Then she went on out to the waiting room and told the women remaining she’d have to reschedule. They were delighted for Elizabeth and gathered up their belongings to leave.

  When Elizabeth came out, Rebecca was waiting with their jackets and her medical bag. “We’ll take your buggy.”

  “We should mop your floor before we leave.”

  “It can wait.” Rebecca had a feeling the boppli couldn’t. Low back pain, water breaking, contractions. And she saw Elizabeth wince again. “We can call your mann on the way to your house.”

  She locked her door behind them and helped Elizabeth down the porch steps. “Just think, you’ll have your boppli before Christmas.”

  “Gut thing the presents are all wrapped and tucked away.” She pressed a hand to her side. “I’m having another contraction.”

  “That’s about five minutes since the last one. You’re moving right along.” Rebecca was glad they were just blocks from Elizabeth’s house. “Call your mann.”

  Adam was waiting in the driveway when they pulled in. He helped Elizabeth into the house and then the downstairs bedroom. There, Rebecca saw that the supplies she always requested be ready for a home birth were already laid out on the bed.

  “Get undressed. I’ll be right back after I’ve washed my hands,” she told her patient. “Adam, please stay with her until I get back.”

  “Of course. Here, lieb, let me help you with your jacket.”

  When Elizabeth moaned at another contraction, Rebecca hurried into the downstairs bathroom. Not only was the woman going to have her boppli today, but Rebecca suspected she’d have it before her kinner came home from schul.

  Rebecca hurried back into the bedroom and saw that Elizabeth had changed into a cotton nightgown and was settled in an armchair. Adam knelt on the floor beside her with a pocket watch in his hand, timing her contractions. Rebecca pulled the quilt off the bed and wasn’t surprised when she saw Elizabeth had already prepared it with a plastic sheet covered by a cotton sheet and a large protective pad.

  “Elizabeth, you are my most prepared mudder.”

  “I should be,” she said. “It’s number five for me.”

  But Rebecca had mudders who’d had more bopplin and they weren’t as prepared for their home births. She couldn’t blame them. They had so much responsibility with their many kinner and too much to do.

  She settled Elizabeth in bed and then the three of them joined in prayer for a safe birth. Adam excused himself to unhitch the horse and put it in the barn. Rebecca checked the progress of the birth.

  “It won’t be long now.” Rebecca tucked a shawl around Elizabeth’s shoulders and took her vitals again.

  When Adam returned, he stuck his head into the room. “Going to go get some more wood for the fireplace. Elizabeth, you doing allrecht?”

  She nodded, concentrating on a contraction. When his glance slid over to Rebecca, she gave him a nod of reassurance.

  An hour passed, two, then three, with the contractions getting more frequent and stronger. Thankfully, Elizabeth’s vitals stayed within normal range. Rebecca was careful to make schur her mudders who wanted to give birth at home knew that if there was any sign that they or the boppli might have a problem, they would deliver at the local hospital.

  Adam popped back in and out of the room as he did chores. “Can I get you a cup of tea or coffee?” he asked Rebecca.

  “You’re not bringing coffee in here when I can’t drink it, are you?” Elizabeth asked him testily.

  His eyes grew wide. Elizabeth was always so even tempered.

  “Third stage,” Rebecca said calmly and checked the progress of birth again. “Elizabeth, I want you to get ready to push when I tell you. Adam, you’re about to meet your new sohn or dochder.” She positioned herself at the foot of the bed, saw the baby’s head crown, then before she could tell Elizabeth to push, the boppli slid right into her waiting hands.

  She stared down at the kind, a living, breathing miracle, her little face screwed up as she blinked and cried and wriggled.

  “Elizabeth, we have a dochder!” Adam cried as Rebecca held the kind up.

  Rebecca’s eyes filled with tears and her heart swelled with joy as she placed the boppli in Elizabeth’s arms and gave Adam the scissors to cut the cord. She knew she’d never get over being deeply touched to witness the birth of new life, no matter how many bopplin she delivered.

  And felt a pang as she wondered if she’d ever experience the joy of giving birth herself. She forced the thought away.

  After Elizabeth and her dochder were all cleaned up and the boppli was suckling for the first time, Rebecca went into the kitchen to brew tea and warm some soup. She set a cup of tea, a bowl of the soup, and some crackers on a tray and carried it into the bedroom.

  Elizabeth smiled and handed the boppli to Adam. “Danki, Rebecca. I’m starving.”

  “You worked hard.” She waited while Elizabeth propped herself up in bed, then laid the tray across her lap. “Adam, I left some instructions on the kitchen table for you. And you have my number. Please don’t hesitate if you have any questions. Elizabeth, I’ll be back later this evening.”

  “Adam will drive you home.”

  She shook her head. “It’s a nice day. I’ll enjoy the walk.” She heard the back door open. “Looks like you timed it well. That’s your kinner coming home.”

  With that, she pulled on her jacket, picked up her bag, and slipped out as the couple’s kinner came rushing into the room. She had a couple of hours to go home, rest, and collect her thoughts about what she wanted to say to Samuel.

  She was halfway home when she heard a buggy pull up alongside her. Before she even looked she just knew it was Samuel. She glanced over and saw that it was indeed him in the buggy.

  “Can I offer you a ride?”

  She nodded, sighing inwardly, and climbed inside.

  * * *

  Samuel called, “Giddyap, Tom,” then turned to Rebecca. “I hope you were out on a call that ended up happier than the last time I gave you a ride home.”

  “Ya. Elizabeth and Adam Bontrager had a dochder. She has four sohns and finally a dochder.”

  “That’s wunderbaar.” He fumbled around for something to say. When he gave her a furtive glance, he saw her just sitting there, staring at her hands. “Was everything allrecht?”

  “Hmm?”

  “Was everything allrecht? With Elizabeth and her boppli?”

  “Ya.”

  “You seem distracted.”

  She shrugged. “Just a little tired. It was an easy delivery but you can’t take anything for granted. “

  “Have you eaten today?”

  “Breakfast.”

  “No lunch?”

  “You don’t eat around a mudder in labor, Samuel.” She chuckled. “Elizabeth got quite perturbed when Adam asked me if I wanted tea or coffee.”

  “We can go for coffee, get you a sandwich.”

  “Nee, danki.” She sighed. “Samuel, we talked about how I had a miscarriage after Amos died.”

  He nodded, remembering that conversation.

  She was so quiet, so serious it scared him.

  “Sometimes when I help d
eliver a boppli, it makes me remember that day. I know I shouldn’t worry, but it makes me wonder if I’ll have a healthy boppli one day. Familye—kinner—are so important.” She stopped, twisted her hands in her lap.

  He pulled off the road so he could look at her, give her his full attention. “I saw how hard it was for you when you told me. I thought you had a lot of courage for continuing to work as a midwife.”

  He reached for her hand and she let him take it.

  “Danki. I know how much Lizzie wants a boppli and I’m schur you want more kinner. You’re so good with her and Jacob.”

  Rebecca stared out the window. “The doctor couldn’t tell me a reason why I miscarried. Was it grief or was it something wrong with the boppli? Or me? As a midwife, I know most women go on to have more bopplin. But I can’t say for schur that I can have another boppli.”

  He could tell this was costing her a lot to tell him. He had to choose his words carefully. “Rebecca, I’d like more kinner, but it’s up to God to decide if I have more, no matter who I marry.”

  He watched his words sink in and was glad he’d pulled over so he could see it.

  “That’s true,” she said finally. “But I felt you should know.”

  “I will be happy to share Lizzie with you until we have a kind of our own.”

  She looked up at him and smiled, and he saw tears in her eyes. “She is a special little girl.”

  “That she is.” He stared off into the distance, then glanced back at her. “It must be hard helping other women have bopplin and not have one yourself.”

  “It’s a joy when I can help. It hurts more when I have a mudder lose one. It’s sometimes a little sad for me, but I could never give up my work. I love it too much. And I’m needed here.”

  He squeezed her hand. “I can see how much you love it. I care about you and I will do my best to support you however I can.” He studied her and felt that she looked calmer than before she’d told him about her concern. It made him feel sad that she had worried about telling him. “Was there anything else you wanted to talk about?”